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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
...LuV Uncrucified...

If your heart is not with me while we are in a relationship, can I ever say you were Really mine?
If you had not put in your soul in maintaining our relationship, would you say you Ever Luv me?
If both your heart and your soul were never in our relationship, how could you talk about Luving me still?
And gave me hope and dreams that never Once exist?


tried to be a somebody at Wednesday, April 21, 2004

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Yishun is INDEED a nice place
Went to school to do e final report today.. One thing I can say about Ngee Ann, realli Gian Peng.. the weather is so freakin HOT le, still wana save air con, KNN' Anyway, went back home first, b4 going to Yishun to meet Eush, Shawn, Lionel and the 85-kg "purple Worm", haha. But, in e End, Worm also same as me, back pian cannot play bball. 1st thing I muz say, Yishun also has many chiobus~ haha! (throu not as many as Khatib) but, enuff to rival town area liao le. Funny, I saw many "my type" onez today.. anyway, went to the bball court to play sum street bball.. 1 side = ah bengs playing bball, the other side = BIG size and BIG biceps kings play wif "yishunised" gers whose shootin is perfect~ lolz.
anyway, since my back is still hurtin, I decided to act noob, haha. Played wif both sides, overall, I tink only the BIG beceps king team, my team will lose, becos we hav no center to rival their height.. anyway, got 1 little cutie ger in orange, keep giving me e Eye, making me unable to concentrate totally.. haha, BHB. maybe its becos I keep "bio"ing her also~ haha! anyway, been long since I went to Yishun liao le. Althrough I try to act a noob, but I tink they actualli know my powerness, cos all suddenly very "ke qi" towards me, but keep banging my teammates sia~ anyway, Eush want to win today, but I realli couldnt tell he want to win, haha. Sorry, bro. U wan to qie wif them again, muz wait for my back to heal 1st la, or U can jio WQ to go down there can le. If, even I can bang them until so jialat, u tink WQ go there, how? lolz.. anyway, lose the matches la, Shawn wear slippers, plus blisters, I dun dare to chiong, becos of my back, Lionel is quite noob, so bro, relax la~ wan to win is sure win 1 lo~ lolz.. anyway, found it weird that I'm actualli termed as a graceful player by 1 gal sia~ haha.


tried to be a somebody at Wednesday, April 21, 2004

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Sunday, April 11, 2004
The Day of Reckoning came closer as E clock tickles down...
Haiz, Painz~ haven been blogging for the past week.. damm been workin overnight nightly until now, my biological clock is spoilt.. the earliest I can sleep now is 4am?!? wat E hell... 3 more weeks, 3 MORE WEEKS! b4 I either embark on to a new stage in my life, where I will finally be reunited wif all my fellow "xiong di"s in the tiny, but warm and sunny island, known by the name of Puala Tekong~ OR' I be alone in Ngee Ann, stayin back for another damm last 6mths.. Obviously, I wont wana stay back for 6more months, but in life, a lot of things r beyond E control of my puny being... be it tiny matters to Full-blown serious matters lik this IIP.. "Shi Shi He Cheng You Jue Dui, Zhi Pai Wu Jue Xin". this proverb, I lik it a lot, but I only believe E 1st part of the idiom at this desperate stage.. I used to believe in myself, and most of E times I failed, its mainly becos of Fate and the lack of Luck.. it always bring me to a lwhole new low point in life, but I realised m failure is not "Tian Yi" nor "Ren Wei".. I met 1 fren YK recently who told me sumthin which enlightened me greatly.. throu its a bit crap as he said it in our "chinese pugilist" kunfu terms... "Bu Shi Tian Yi yao Ni qu bai, Er shi ni de Xin Ge, Ni Tai Qiang le, shi ni shen bian de Ren, dou chen wei le yu chun de jia hou." 2nd phrase was "Tian xia bu shi yi ge ren to da, ni bai. Yin wei Ni cong bu ken Fang Xia ni Zhun Gui de Zhi Wo, cai shi Ni luo de jin Tian de Jue Jing." final phrase, "tai xiang xin zhi ji de ren, bian zhu ding yao BAI!!!" His profund words of wisdom, makes me look at myself in a whole new perspective.. I looked at things differently now.. as I derive this phrase of mine from his golden words, "Mo shi zhai Ren, Cheng shi zhai Tian, wo ke shen guo Tian Xia ren, que da bu bai Chang Tian, dui yu Tian, wo ye Wu Neng Wei Li". To pple who r my kind, pple who understand wat the hell I'm tokin abt, I believe U understand my situation.. but as we, this kind of people are few and scarce in the world cos we r termed under a type of pple known as Tenshikon in Japanese terms.. so I dun realli expect any1 to understand wat I'm tokin abt.. Anyway, at least I'm now left wif the IIP presentation and UAT shit, I could onli look forward to Judgement day to pass n go wif out a single trace of memory embedded in my mind.. haiz.
"of all E things I've lost, I missed my Mind E most..." ---> [Zhong Hua Ying Xiong vol.19-- Kuang Shen Yi Jian]


tried to be a somebody at Sunday, April 11, 2004

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Friday, April 02, 2004
Call me "37pts Hero" + Defeat of Singapore's bball team
Fans of the Defeated Swordman, I would lik to share wif u 2 pts today...
Point Number 1 -- Well, Qie this team called "Devils", which consists of 2 adult team members from my former Yee Tee csc frens.. Not bad, won them Fair n Square! Cant believe it, man.. Anyway, I tink I almost regained my 3pts form, my field shot percentage was unbelieveable, throu nearing the end of the match, I missed sum vital shots, haha! It was overall a nice match (becos I was on-form), but things got a bit ugly nearing e end of the match, they sub in 1 BIG guy N whenever I got E ball in E paint, He Whacked me til dun knw wat, lolz. WQ, my center tried to whack tt BIG guy back, but well~ If they had put tt guy earlier in, they should hav won ba (maybe e guy can whack me til I nt on-form, but on "fire", grrrr...). But it's okie, cos I did a spectcular stunt (Imparted to me by my former sec.sch Bball Shifu - YanXiong) back on him and audiences were like, "WA!! Stunt! Who's tt guy, this kinda shit" Anyway, it was nice to play against my former bball mates again, throu only 2 of them only. After all, they were E "Lao Jiaos" once~ but I was surprised tt one of them is now a "Family" man liao le. I ALWAYS Believe tt he will not get married, becos he is a FULL TIME GANGSTER wif his WELL-EMBODIED Full bodied tattos well, I guess Gangsters also will grow up n get married 1 la ah~
Point Number 2 -- heard frm frens tt Singapore lost all 3 games of the 4-nations tournament, lolz. So I "OF COS" go n suan siao sumbody liao~ lolz, but den he not free today, cos he also got match, but his is Tournament at homeground YeeTee Csc.. so I heck care him, afterall, his biceps is only 7 inches bigger den me~ Hope he lose today, den I can suan him I score 37pts, hahaha!
Conclusion ---> maybe I will soon achieve half my cousin's standard liao le! hohoho, hope I be able to do tt soon... anyway, today one of my bro Eush didnt came down today to play, so guess he missed out my Award-winning performance today~ hahaha.. wonder why he always miss out on exciting matches 1?
<> pls tune in again soon for the nxt Exciting espisode! lolz, Think I today very XL, lolz.


tried to be a somebody at Friday, April 02, 2004

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Thursday, April 01, 2004
Wat a Scare!!!
Whor! Juz now was almost scared to death, I finally finished e pbl2 den suddenly, IT disappear!!! Admist the process of frantically searchin for it, I realised I pulled out my hair... now all so short n thin now... :(
stupid ERP, makes me sianz half.. Asif IIP the website nt enuff to kill me lik tt~ Argh!!!


tried to be a somebody at Thursday, April 01, 2004

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history
Insignificant



I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.




I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine
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