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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Sick N Tired' Juz had abt enuff..
---Yesterday---
Dun know wat came over me.. I'm juz feelin sick N tired of my life.. Yesterday tio stunt as well.. if no1 to accompany me, Rashid bro LAZY to meet me N all my gd brothers in E world all suddenly MIA, I went to lot1 wif Shawn N Weijie to play arcade.. play halfway, den suddenly the arcade got smoke coming out frm the other side! N it smoked us up. So, me N Shawn went outside to create sum more "smoke" --> smoking break' while Weijie carried challenging pple in KOF blind-folded~ As Weijie finally came dwn, we saw fire bridage N police cars all came parkin into Lot1, turns out tt there was a fire at lvl5 cinema, N to tink I wanted to watch a movie myself later on.. So, we all went home..
I was feelin tired but yet I'm got tis growin Fucked Up feelin inside me.. I juz cant sleep' juz den, Rene's brother ask me to come Yishun, sayin he'll come fetch me.. so off I went, but nt b4 I kapo a bottle of XO frm my dad's wine counter' Juz knew I needed a drink. I expected Rene to hiew lan me yesterday, but the thing is she's nt even home.. call her, msg her, no reply. even her bro's call also no reply, wat the fuck is she tinkin.. why r Gals so lik tt' den finally received a msg frm her tt she's at Ling's hse. So wif nuthin to do, me N her bro started drinkin.. drank sum whisky, teq, n all the shit tt he has along wif my XO' N chat abt life.. come to tink of it, I tink her brother is realli a Mr.Nice Guy, nt sum busybody le. Suddenly become gum wif him liao le.. Feelin tipsy, I stayed over'

---Today---
In the morning,I rem going out wif Rashid to buy sum stuff tomolo at Beach Rd, lucky I rem else Bro will kill me! but den again, I still woke up late, so heck care lo. Den went N bought our "stuff", shit, spent over 30plus, KNN. Den I try to jio Rene out, but she say give her time to cool dwn, again??? nabeiz, juz a few days ago, also this stunt! So feelin fucked up, I jio my brothers to play bball. Den, JC the turban got a miscommunication wif me N he came Lot1 tinkin we r singin KTV.. sianz half' Den FORCED to sing ktv wif him N Chantell + Shawn taggin along wif me.. Had to pang seh the others, paisei hor, bros' Alreadi voice coarse frm Pierre's ktv party, den forced to sing again, totally fucked up. Coarse voice, tired body, feelin sick, unhappy N in serious need to destress, still confine me in a room N listen to them sing... KNN CCB de. Was juz hopin to get out frm e room asap. Finally managed to survive the session N juz reached home feelin sick N tired, both physically N mentally. I tink I am going back to tt dark period of my life again.. God, save me..


tried to be a somebody at Tuesday, May 25, 2004

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history
Insignificant



I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.




I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine
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