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Thursday, May 27, 2004
The True Self within the Mirror

For so long looking into the mirror
I saw a reflection of an image,
A stranger looking back at me..

As I look into my eyes,
I saw only emptiness from within..

Beneath those eyes were my fears,
E fear of Sorrow,
E fear of Pain,
E fear of Despair..

How could I not know this face before me,
As I stood looking at the reflection in the mirror?

Where was the Person I used to be,
Why couldn’t I see him again?

Turning round, looking into the mirror once more,
I saw my life.
A Life that has gone out
A Life that has been extinguished.

And now all my pride,
And all my joy,
My hopes, my passions,
My dreams,
All destroyed.

What reflected back from the mirror
Was a stranger looking back at me,
just an empty shell of my being.

Standing there once more,
Deserted and isolated.
The feeling set back, where was this person
I once called ME?

Walking away from that image,
Not wanting to take another look,
I carried on wif my life..

Through the hurt and pain,
Endless torment and suffering,
The sleepless nights where I wallop in despair and no one heard.
The pain slowly fades,
but the scars still remain.

The truth finally sank in on me..
It took many setbacks and disappointments
To find the true me.

No longer am I just the image in the mirror
I am the reflection of my life,
E past,
E future,
E present,
And the reflection of our endless Love..
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tried to be a somebody at Thursday, May 27, 2004

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history
Insignificant



I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.




I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine
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