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Saturday, January 22, 2005
FARK IT
I kinda hate everythin revolvin ard me..
hate NS. hate training. hate ppl.
i'm full of anguish, full of hatred..
i'm feelin Farked..

why must everythin and every1 be so goddamn difficult?
i wish to tell E world,
"juz fuck it. go fuck yourself."

Everything N every 1 is collapsing around me...
too much to cope, too little time,
no room to breathe. i'm feelin trapped.
Suffocated. Lost. Confined.
Wif no one to turn to. no one who can understand.
It's during times like this,
all 1 can ask for is a mean vodka and a nice fag...
Perphaps all will seems better. E world will be a better place.
but, i've neither vodka nor fags wif me as of now.
damn..


tried to be a somebody at Saturday, January 22, 2005

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history
Insignificant



I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.




I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine
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