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Sunday, November 19, 2006
...Reflections...


Seriously, I tink I am a boring person. Always tryin to be sumbody.. I hav no life, being no $$, no Gf, no degree, no nuthin, juz a FAT BASTARD.. To me, most gals r supeficial, no 1 can make my heart beat since she put an end to it.. Frens & Brothers, many. But always sum "chu" pattern here and there & I always hav to "be there".

Anyway, am I a bimbo or a Chao-Lao Kia? Am I simply outdated or too Old-fashion or "Buey Gan" or watever fuck la. I seems to tink tt way nowadays, dun knw why.. I tink I am la. Confirm la, so many people say liaoz. K lo, I buey Gan lo, go live your Happening lives to your fullest lo. Fuck off, dun interfer wif my so-called "UnHappening" life? Different people have diff priorities wat, tts all..

Micheal told me tt I always protrayed the 1 typical cancerian trait tt I cFm do not hav? Why do I have to always listen to people viewpoint? Why do I always hav to be the Wise-Guy? Why do I always put myself in other pple shoes? Why the Hell do I always have to keep listening to people talking abt their fucking selves? Why do I always have to keep smiling when I dun even feel happy? This is not me, I wan to live for myself once and not live for others..

Sumtimes I wonder am I too un-happening or r new age-people too happening for me? Are gals the only objective in life? As in "chiobus"?

Is having a HAPPENING job, a CHIO gf, HIGH pay, YANDAO looks, BIG biceps, realli tt important? Why the HELL muz people compare this compare tt? always talking abt themselves & how to win others, their so called Happening Lives..

Thanks, Mike. U enlightened once again wif u wise words. I used to wonder why you so lucky to be so Potent, but after our discussion last week, I came to realised. Simply put, bec0s U earned it. I am realli proud to be part of the "Micheal Jason" brand. Lolz, lets hope I can find the meaning of my existence in life..

Now tt I become enlightened, I won't be "谜惑" anymore. I'll juz be myself n live my puny life..

Wounds heal & Scars fade,
Live Life for yourself n not for others
给我你的爱,爱,爱, yea'
___________________________________________________________________


tried to be a somebody at Sunday, November 19, 2006

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history
Insignificant



I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.




I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine
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