Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Day e Girl I wanted to Marry left me

Things has come to pass
& the air has been cleared

E painful decison is made
& our future is dashed

I realised i'm in e wrong
but its too late

As my world crumbles in on me,
I tink abt events tt happen since march til now.

I quarreled wif a "Brother",
over a simple matter

My Parents almost wanted a divorce,
consider them separated

I guess its only logical tt
comes May, I would lose e Love of my life
The one who I'll be marryin

I had hopes for e future,
for our future together.
But guess wat?
I screwed it up
all becos I was too harsh
I was too stubborn

I realised my mistakes
& I realised my faults

To tink tt I had to be so rash
so rash to squabble wif her
to completely ignore her
at her most helpless moment

Which lead to her decision
for e both of us

She is the first woman tt actually touch my heart
& I believe she will be e last woman to do so

I really wanted to turn back the clock
& turn back the time
But I know I cant.

I cant ever make it up to her;
I believed
for it was I who was so wrong

But I will always be by her side
& keep on caring for her
& luving her

Til e day, time really turn back..

Pls forgive me, my Luv,
even thou u will never even
see this Tots of mine..

------------------------------------

tried to be a somebody at Thursday, May 14, 2009

=========

Insignificant

I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.

I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine