Monday, May 11, 2009

The day you moved on

- Why you leaving, i all along knew nothing until the day before?

- Wat is e true reasons for ur leaving?
Til nw n I still do not know

- The day ur leaving, i intending to help you move, last minute do i know;
Tat Steve & Amy r coming to help you..

- You asked for the rental, i went out & take;
saw you at the lift, i passed you the $$
n you juz went off.

- All e way, from 12pm , u came back at 2.
Directly wif amy , and wif steve already dwnstairs waiting;
Amy looked at me wif tt face;
n I was uncertain wat went on from 12 to 2..

- We brought your stuff dwnstairs and guess wat,
u carry on talkin wif her?
Felt like an outsider even thou I'm supposed to be ur boyfriend.

- And so off you go, waving me off wif a simple "byebye"

- As I watch frm my corridor, i saw u merrily chattin wif amy
b4 gettin into the car n move off.

Hav I realli made ur stay so bad tts
its seems like a total relief to move out?
==============

So we started a cold war, it dragged on n on, until our exams over.

- wat live for urself
- wat who right who wrong n it suits u fine
- thks to all who supported you.
- to the one & only

All meaningless hurtful words

all the posts n all e blogs, n the msn convo tt hurts the most.
- you sound so alien
- you sound like we're strangers
Capping it off wif "Dun worry, we will talk"

The war continues til Mother's day,
when i tot you might be feelin low.
Unable to leave u alone,
I relented..

I tried to msg, I tried to call
All for naught & all to no avail..

So after my dinner wif my family,
i went straight dwn

Not knowing where to look,
not knowing how to get to you.

I drank alone, I drank wif frens,
I drank some more, n i dun know wat to do.

Totally unreachable,
i tot u blocked my calls,
I tot wat has happened to you
I tot wat has happened to us

So, I held on,
on e verge of despair.

Den ur sms came,
n ur juz back fomr an overseas trip.

Yes, I knew ur hav sumthin on for sat.
But I didnt knew you went overseas.

No matter how bad the quarrel is,
aint I supposed to knw all this?
I felt useless, I felt hopeless..

So not knowing who u went wif,
where u went to,
how u got home,

throu half stupor and half consciousness..
I replied to ur sms,
trying to hide e pain in my heart..
================

I will try my best to be happy,
Wif you not knowing the grief you caused me,
I will try my very best to make e relationship works,
cos I still believe in you..

tried to be a somebody at Monday, May 11, 2009

=========

Insignificant

I'm nobody really.Serious. Just an unknown guy, Living the infamous lowlife of human society. Unknown, Unseemed, Unheard of. I'm the good old rational goof. Running my own little life. I'll never do anything out of line, Never disturb the rest, Never offend my own kind. Perhaps you're wondering, I'm stupid I'm insignificant, I smoke my life away and keeps people away, How could I be, a good old goofy? Well a girl told me once, That I'm called Jason and I'm just another chap. But if I be a goody goody one, Live my little life, Never to step out of my own lane, Be good work hard, I would get to my final destination. Find a life, And become a somebody. Somebody. Someday. Somehow. Well it's been ages since I've seen her again. But her words still rung in my head. Ever since I've lost her in Tekong, I've come to this weirdo place in Kranji. When everyday I just run and run and run. Never gettin to where I wan to be, But never mind, I'll keep running, Be good work hard, I'll get there someday. Someday. Somehow. Sometime. When I get there I bet all my fellow mates will go mad. Maybe that would be the day they'll let me go back! Go back to you, girl. Then I could hold you again. Like we never separated before. Do you know how much this unknown chap. Your little boy, misses you? But it's okay it's all right, I'll run my little life well. Be good work hard, I'll keep to my own lane. Never step out of line. And soon enough I'll get there. Get a fuckin new life, I hear it's fanatastic, they say. And then I'll return to you. Back to the fields of the old days. Marry the sweet little you, And have lots of little 'uns. Just like the average man. Just like the average society. But first I need to keep running. Run and run and run. Until I get to there, Become the winner, Become that somebody you wanted me to become, That somebody man. But well, Until then, I'm a nobody really. Just a unknown chap called Jayson. Running my little lowlife. Wait for me.

I have friends?
My Dearest. Elaine